3 months anniversary!

Yay!

Suffocating you?

Asphyxia, suffocation
Anticipation, obscure, futility
Blood, roué, profligation
Despair, I capitulate,
Caving in, giving up on enlightenment
Prosperity seems like a more ameliorated proffer.
There you are once again, averting when I attempt to kiss you.
You just don't like cuddling so much, or is something wrong?
You take my hands forth when I try to hold you.
If I only you would assure me that nothing was wrong.
I opine I am only being paranoid, cerebrating overmuch about you
Not giving you room, nor time to respire.
Only yielding you reasons for discomfort.
The source of a forthcoming depression?
I guess I need to allow for you to have more room, and not to clinge you all the time like I have a propensity to.
I just wanted to ascertain or reascertain you of how I feel, and how I need for you to be there for me.
I don't want to aspyxiate you, please tell me if you need time or space.
All I want is you.

The night.

Tucking you in, kissing your forehead, then your lips
It was way too late at night
You've already drifted off
I wish I could too - together with you
Instead I can't sleep, even though I dozed off with you
Turning the lights off, to kiss your forehead again,
Wrote you a note, whispered to you -
I love you. Shallow scars.
Am I not strong enough to make them deep?
Do I even want to? I guess not.
Then why? I don't even know.
I fear you're the one who'll make the deepest ones.
Cutting my arteries, and make me bleed to death - on the inside.
But I pray that's never gonna happen.
These scars stay with you for a lifetime, and even more.
They are there to remind you - you fucked up, didn't you?
Big time too - to let things get to this point, to the point beyond repair.
To the point of despair. Your love is the sharpest knife.
Not now, but I fear eventually you'll fall out of love.
And leave me behind.
Running too fast.
And I stay back - alone. Too much pain to handle.
Too deep scars to heal.

I like to watch you sleep, but I hate to leave you.
I closed the door ever so gently.
When you first fall asleep, I don't want to wake you up.
I want to be there and sleep with you -
To never wake again, and then share the eternity with you -
Sleeping. Don't wake me up, please don't.
Sleeping. It's so much easier this way.
Sleeping. Not a problem in the world -
Then you wake up, it's inevitable, and you get smacked
By reality, I guess.
There's nothing like sleeping next to the person you love more -
More than life itself.
I want to fall asleep with you.
Staying in the dark.
Keep the lights off, please.

Cariña?

Eres mía por siempre?
Eres toda mía?
Vas a estar conmigo, y solamente conmigo?
Dime, por favor, estoy muriendo si no.

Hold me, and tell me you love me

Anxiety, depression, feeling timid, scared, even smothered
Love, fear, deceit, hurt, love again
Bewildered, hidden, frightened
Dancing with you, crying with you
Kissing you, making love to you
Gracefully, lustfully, loss of energy, repleneshing of energy
Appetite, losing it, nausea, seduction
Vivid, tender, experiencing it all
Chastity, the opposite being my biggest fear
The anxiety, fear of seeing you with someone else
Perfume, your smell, your touch. Loving it.
Your look, your beautiful face, a dream. Living it.
Being close to you - how I miss it.
Minutes away from you - devastating.
You bring me back to life, you really do
You bring back the happiness of my heart
All tender, happy, felicity, the feelings you create
The music, laughter, tears, trepidation
Discomposure, disquietness, all the trembles, the shivering

Hold me, just hold me, and tell me you love me
Horrified from the thought of you being with someone else
It breaks my heart, even the thought of it
It's hard to keep it in, not to shed a tear
Uneasy, scared, dread.
Paranoia perhaps, and seclusion.
The fear of letting you come too close, so that I won't die if I lose you
Too late, I would be totally devastated.
You're the source of all my happiness
My love, my fears, seduction, lust
You're the source of it all
You're my biggest love, and I won't let anything change it
Yet you make me feel like the greatest
You make me feel like a child
So scared, wanting the night to never come
So I can just hold you, stroke your hair, kiss you, tell you that I love you
I really do, and I can't see myself being with someone else,
Not now, not ever. I want for you to be with me.
Have a family. Have dreams. Troth, commitment, attachment.
The dream of all these things with you.
Is it just a dream, or will you make them happen with me?
The fear of pushing you away from me, I'll do everything not to let that happen.
Will you be the one who wakes with me, and tells me you love me?
Will you?

Divine, like a goddess you are

Divine, like a goddess you are to me
Holding you gives me strength
Looking in your eyes makes me feel like I can accomplish anything
You are the world to me, and nothing can change that
My heart is begging for this to be true, because I never want to part from you
I want to stay with you for all eternity
I want for you to be by my side
As long as it makes you happy, I know I am.
I love you girlfriend. Mon petit ami.

Divina, cómo una diosa estás.
Bodegarte me hace fuerte.
Mirando en tus ojos veo como puedo realizar todo
Eres mi mundo, y nada puede alterarlo
Mi corazón te ora que todo es castizo, porque nunca quiero dejarte.
Quiero estar contigo por siempre
Quiero que estes conmigo
Cuando estás felíz, lo sé que estoy
Te amo, muñeca. Mon petit ami.

Tears were shed, blood was spilled

Feeling cold, like an asshole I was, deserved it
Seeing my biggest fear in front of my eyes
Begging you from the inside not to let go
You couldn't, could you?
I was hoping you wouldn't
You had a tough decision, and I know why
I understand, I had it coming
The pain was too intense, too strong
Lying on your bed, like the biggest idiot in the world
What had you done to deserve that? Nothing. Nothing at all.
I guess trying to impress you - or at least make myself look as
less of an idiot, almost killed it.
Your eyes showed grief, mine showed fear, I didn't want to let go
Not at all, but I know I would have to if you'd asked me to

The tears came strong, falling on my cheek,
you wiped them - then I did, then I wiped yours
I hope you felt as you made the right decision
I know I didn't. Concealing things from you is not something I want to do -
ever again. Agitated at myself for doing it for something that silly -
and hoping that you'd just hold me and tell me it was all going to be OK.
You didn't - not at first at least, and I deserved it.
Almost killing the best thing that ever happened to me,
in a brief moment it seemed black
I love you - no response, and I just wanted to close my eyes
Not openening them again either
I guess I needed a reality check
The pain was intense, but certified me once again
How I feel. The tears were real, I felt completely naked -
though I undressed myself. I am so glad you chose to forgive me
And I know I will never ever take you for granted
It wasn't over - you told me it wasn't, and I wanted to hold on to that
Then it seemed to be slipping, and I was petrified
You - for some reason didn't ask me to go.
I was certain I'd done the biggest mistake in my life

This was almost a crushing moment in my life,
Certain to grow from it, I feel warm again
Knowing I will appreciate every day you're here with me
like it was - and it is - a gift.
The best gift - and the best thing to ever happen to me.
I am sure that you're the one I want to share my dreams,
hopes, joy, laughter, visions, experiences, challenges and feelings with
As you really are the greatest love I have ever experienced
I want to have a future with you, and I am thankful that you are even
considering to have one with me.
I want to have a family with you - you make me feel complete
As long as you stay with me.